I had a great conversation, with my very awesome doc, the other day. I speak later in this blog about burnout, stress, overwhelm, and all those things that many people are feeling at this time of the year. Perhaps (as it has been for me) you have experienced those feelings many times this year.
But first! My latest revelation! I am actually just the way I am meant to be.
So… this is the theory (not based on medical evidence, and I am by no means an expert).
As women we are supercharged with hormones and abilities to cope – mentally, physically and emotionally through a large part of our lives. With massive effort (and pain!) we deliver babies. We nurture and grow brand new beings inside us. We breastfeed. We push our bodies to the limit, deal with monthly imbalances and hormones – all in the journey of being reproductive and female.
Most woman multitask, at home and while holding down a job. We build businesses and careers. We carry the burdens of the world and undertake a dozen different activities in one day (for many many people) without even contemplating the impact it has on us.
And then menopause us hits.
All of a sudden, our superhuman powers, the hormones that we had as a younger woman, the energy to do anything and be everything to everyone…. are gone. We are normal. It’s not that we are without or less than we were. We are simply normal.
HOLD ON! I can’t lose my superhuman powers. I am a non-stop, highly productive, high-energy person. I frequently do 1 million things at once. I actually think I like it that way. Or do I? No wonder I am struggling. This is such a huge thing to be aware of and accept. I return to this at the end of this blog.
Burnout manifests differently for everyone
I change tack now, as this applies to everyone at any stage, age, or gender.
In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, burnout can sneak up on us, leaving us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotionally depleted. If you have experienced, even a taste of burnout, you will be familiar with the signs of extreme fatigue, emotional drainage, and a pervasive sense of hopelessness that dominates your days. Far from super-human, just performing daily routines requires energy you simply don’t have.
For me personally, even simple decision-making becomes a monumental task. I just want the world to stop. Stop demanding my time, stop taking all my energy and stop wanting my input. Life seems to take an overwhelming spiral downward. To counter this, simplifying life by focusing on small decisions or eliminating the need for them altogether can be a crucial beginning step in managing burnout.
Why Can’t We Just Be Sick?
No matter how many strategies we think we have in place, sometimes it feels like nothing can ease the weight of burnout.
The societal perception of taking time off for physical sickness versus mental exhaustion creates a disparity. If I had the flu, I would stay in bed. People would bring me cups of tea and allow me time to heal. Overwhelm is cloaked in a facade that everything is ok. Society (and more likely ourselves) expects us to carry on.
When facing stress and burnout, it’s essential to give ourselves the same luxury of time and care. Creating a supportive environment, much like when we’re physically unwell, involves stepping back from commitments, clearing the calendar, and giving ourselves the space needed for recovery.
The Illusion of a Christmas Break
Many individuals believe that a decent break during the holiday season or a weekend away will magically fix burnout. It is not “one and done”. This is a hard thing for those who care about you to also understand. A conversation, a break down, time out for a short duration doesn’t resolve all the underlying issues.
True recovery goes beyond a few weeks off. It involves incorporating a few practical steps like those below. Even that is only the beginning.
As I reflect on the year that’s been, it appears that too often, I have ended up in this state without recognising the usual symptoms. The ideal would be to acknowledge when you are reaching a state of burnout rather than attempting to recover from it. More so, would be to take it a step further and understand why.
Practical Steps as a Starting Place to Combat Burnout:
- Self-Care Sanctuary: Find a quiet space with soft music, comfortable clothes, and a warm blanket. Engage in activities that require minimal mental effort, providing a break from the constant brain-drain.
- Diary Detox: Clear your schedule, even family commitments, to reduce external pressures. Jot down any pending decisions and consciously release them, giving your mind the break, it needs.
- Micro-Break Integration: Instead of waiting for a holiday break, incorporate small breaks into your daily routine. Whether it’s a short walk, a few minutes of meditation, or a quick chat with a friend, these micro-breaks can prevent burnout from escalating. You actually have to DO these, not just INTEND to!
- Put it in the Parking Lot: The conversation, the person, project, … anything that causes overwhelm – park it! Know you can return to it. Know it is safe and secure until you have the headspace and/or energy to revisit it.
It is Ok to be Normal.
Burnout or Menopause – either requires acceptance. I am in fact not super-human.
Considering the post-menopausal “normal-ness”, I have to admit it is a natural part of life for a woman. The change of pace is for a reason. We were created this way. That then begs the question why we feel the need to be any different. Why do we want the same hormone levels and superpowers?
Many women rush to take hormone replacements to mimic what they were. Why can’t we just accept and gracefully fall into a more mellow self-indulgent phase?
Why, indeed, can’t we put ourselves first for a change?
